When you fall off the wagon of life

When you fall off the horse do you stay down in the mud or do you climb back on and continue the journey?

Life is hard. 

Life shows no mercy. 

People are cruel. 

Molehills seem like such mountains. But it is what it is. 

If we always just lay down, 

cried when the milk spilt, 

wail at the unfairness of it all 

    - would anything ever been accomplished?

Life is hard. 

It is a test. 

It’s not easy.

Sometimes, it’s a struggle to get out of bed, 

some nights, when we close our eyes

we might hope they won’t open again. 

But life goes on. 

It has to. 

Though we sometimes feel it is cruel.

Though we sometimes feel it is heartbreaking.

Life goes on. 

We cannot stop,

we cannot pause

no fast forward, 

no rewind and try again.

The world keeps turning, spinning slowly day by day.

Only we can change our choices, our lifestyle.

Thoughts can be altered. help can be sought.

Changes can be made, new habits begun.

The worlds greats did not give up,

 if we all just accepted things as they are - stopped trying, 

nothing would ever be accomplished. 

We have responsibilities 

to ourselves, 

to others 

to god. 

Did Jesus lie down when he fell with the cross? No. 

With a little help he got up and continued on. 

believe in him or no it does not matter. 

When help is offered or not, 

we MUST keep going

we MUST get up and try again.

No matter how hard the struggle

No matter how tired we are. 

The test of life is hard, 

the road to paradise has blockades and barriers, 

but,

if we want to finally get there - OUR IDEAL

OUR PARADISE

OUR LIFE 

    we MUST find a way to go on. 

Lead the way for others to follow

never look back, regret. 

Never say what if

FIGHT

STRUGGLE

GO ON

SURVIVE

YOU CAN WIN.

The world keeps turning,

with it,

the opportunity for change.

For better.

For good.

For life.

by Kelly Crawford  

POETRY: still, calm, tranquil, peaceful

 Still, calm, tranquil, peaceful,

Midnight waters on a pond.
Moonbeams shining, gleaming, glowing;
Reflected on the surface flow.

Silence lingers though not eery,
Broken only by one sound;

The lowly calling for a lover

A grasshopper's pursuit of a Juliet.

The Fireflies glow,
Lanterns bobbing, floating, swirling; 

Graceful dancers of the sky
Drifting elegantly, airily, sylphlike 
Living candles of the night skies.

POETRY: On the edge

 

On the edge 

Teetering 

Slowly forward, slowly back

Nearly falling.

 

The abyss calling.

 

A soft breeze is all that pushes me back. 

The winds to safety,  beckoning whispers 

I barely hear. 

Barely strong enough to call me back.

Back to safety, back to life

Don’t go, don’t fall, don’t teeter. 

So young, so much potential; choose life! 

The north wind calls me stronger. 

It beckons me. 

A seductress. An enchantress. 

A siren of the sea of nothingness below.

So long I’ve teetered I start to wonder, 

It dawns on me, soon, I’ll have no choice. 

Soon my legs... 

They will give way 

And I will fall into the abyss below 

No choice

No decision 

No more

Nothing into Nothingness.

The end of the struggle.

Desist. Deceased.

An end.

by Kelly 

LOCKDOWN POETRY / MUSINGS

 Tick tick goes the clock 

The hours, the seconds ticking away. Life and time is fleeting, it’s flying past, gone fast. How to use it? Not to waste? What’s right and what’s wrong. Stuck in my room wasting my days I feel my potential slipping away. Frustrated upset unable to change. An enforced lockdown on my life and soul. Precious time stolen from me never to get back? Do I sit in this room and gloom ? Let it devour me? How to shake myself and fight back? To Re-conquer and regain control yet all the while stuck inside 4 walls. Step by step, little by little use the time wise. Either cry at the tragedy or look for an alternative ending. Brush up on a skill or read a good book, try out a hobby try to reconnect. There’s not much to do so rather than get stuck like glue, try to make the most of what you can. Time is precious we should not waste, take what we get and use it. One small thing a day can be one small step in a better direction. If we don’t laugh we cry. Stand up don’t fall down. The bad things can be opportunities for good if only we are willing to try, To see. Sometimes it is hard, we want to give up, feeling listless, no motivation, aggravated. But we can’t let ‘them’ win, use our time for free, so fight back and slowly you will see, you haven’t wasted your time, maybe you learnt something new, or picked up a long lost hobby. When times are hard we can give a friend a call, a shoulder of support, a helpful hand or attentive ear. Take each day as it comes and try to use it well. Slowly it can amount to something. 

4 walls

Stuck inside 4 walls each day, a bird in a cage, an animal trapped. Frustrated angry, sad mood leaping up and then down. At the start the fight within is strong, hope still flickers but slowly it too is gone. The happiness , the brightness it trickles away. How to get out , return to before. We can’t, it is gone now,forever no more. 

The past is the past we should live in the now, but what happens when the present is so hard to forebear - a madness, a darkness, a sadness so deep. What is there to help you keep 

Getting up each each day dressing and shower, When you feel that it’s all so unworth it, it’s all a big task, a hard chore. How to get help and good feelings once more? You just want to sleep and to sleep some more, the things you like seem boring, not so much fun anymore.

Although the cage now lies open the darkness has crept in, the traces lie there deep and not thin.  Your spirit is broken, your passion is dead, the feelings you had before have flown from your head. With each day can some happiness return, or will we forever have this mark , this burn? What was treasured is lost , can it be returned to us again? Walls can protect you but also break you down. Even the strong weaken after some time. People need freedom support and love, with no hope in our lives spirits dwindle to dust. 

Keep these ashes don’t sweep them away, some day we can use them to rebuild in a new way. In them we have hope fight and passion - our best. These things are never lost, only pushed down, oppressed.

     

POETRY: going through the motions

we're going through the motions baby, cant you see?
its not love not lust, its continuity.
we're going through the motions baby cant you see
too used to each others, too set in our ways, habitual habits, not listening to what the others say.
we're going through the motions baby cant you see?
set in routine, too scared to break apart,
fear the change
fear the dark,
the unknown, the loneliness
the fear of the shelf
the unfamiliar, the unknowing-ness,a lonely fresh start
unwilling to break apart

we're going through the motions darling
simple a mirage, its not real.
the feelings once had, now gone.
actions of love, of affection, true emotions and feelings
now just are fake
acting the part we've played for so long,
lines repeatedly engrained no longer have meaning, definition forgot.

we're going through the motions darling,
we think we feel differently,
our hearts and directions opposite, not parallel, no longer aligned.
not love not hate, edging on indifference

its sad to think we are now this way
before two halves to a whole, now a hole
one hoped it would never come to this, it would never end up this way

we're going through the emotions baby, what we do, what we have
its not real
just a part of a screen play, and im sick of the same dully performed lines
the plot is meagre, the subtext laudable, one cant pause to laugh at the poor deliverance of lines
im sick of awaiting my queue, my tears aren't of hurt more frustrated, not real,
they fall they dry we repeat the scene, its boring, its obvious, the ending is now near
a sad tale that should end

we're going through the motions darling
what our head our heart and body should feel is far from the truth
lying not left, not right
stone cold in the middle, barely moving an inch
lets just stops the emotions, to start having real emotions
to breathe
to begin
new
so we aren't going through the motions baby
darling what we feel, what we do ,can be real
so step back, step out, step far, lets call it
the motions can cease
its done, the end

mistakes 误会

It's alright to make mistakes, it's alright to realise you did wrong, it's alright to see that you made the wrong choice,it helps you grow, to develop, realising these mistakes and making better choices, to repent, to feel guilt, to understand the need for change and taking the measures to do so, setting the gears in motion, taking the first step, this is what is important. If the end result is good, the goal and heart is pure, do we judge those who made the mistakes, took the wrong path, fell along the way? or do we help them -strength in numbers, a friend in need, love thy neighbour. Standing up for beliefs, putting faith in the good of your goals, to forge a new path that will lead to happiness and success for you and others, shedding old clothes and Darning new, taking the cast off and learning to walk again, a new dance with newer harder steps. those who are brave and mature enough to try. Judge, help, admire? hate, show disdain, be jealous? Unable to see beyond you on desires and concepts, or willing to try to understand?

看不起还是佩服？

The Truth

Sometimes people just don't want to know the truth. 

They can't face it. And they delude themselves -  sometimes to the brink of destruction. 

Some people just refuse to see what is really in front of them, 

convince themselves otherwise, no matter how ludicrous. 

Sometimes the truth, although often blatant is too painful to bear, 

living in self delusion, in self destruction, 

the pain of the truth too hard to bear, 

unable to cope and living a half life lie. 
The truth can make or break you. 

but...

The truth will also set you free.

A Moment

Sometimes you got to Live in the moment and enjoy life. 

In a moment you go from past to present to future. 

So take a minute and enjoy a moment, make a moment, reflect on a moment, celebrate a moment.

A moment can be wonderful and special if you make it that way. 

Reflect on life; the good the bad the ugly. 

Make more good moments and create amazing memories. 

If you always live in the past or always look towards the future you can't enjoy the moments, 

you can't fully enjoy the now, 

but if you only enjoy the now you can't learn from the past to make your better future. 

So live in the moment that's a collection of your past, present and future. 

Make a good moment not a stupid one. 

Enjoy life and try not to worry so much. 

Everything happens for a reason the good and the bad even the ugly. 

So when a moment comes along or you make a moment, enjoy it, live it, love it

love, hate indifference

There is a fine line between love and hate. 

Crossing into love is easy but once you fall into hate it is hard to go back.

But, the worst fate of all is 

                                       indifference. 

All feelings and cares have ceased. 

Hate shows that you still care enough to go through the effort of hate. 

Indifferent to someone is good for you, 

        but when someone is indifferent to you, 

  no longer loving hating or caring.  

This is the most heart wrenching feeling of all.

When you still care, 

indifference is a fate 

                              of 

                                 hell.