POETRY: what could and could not be

My heart yearns for what could or could not be....

what could be? what could be.

A half, a shell, a whole, a hole,

what could not be

a half, a shell, a whole, a hole.

either way, where i look or go,

i feel the same, i think the same, i know the same

half empty yet half full

My heart yearns for what could and could not be

 a correlation of hearts, a joining of two souls, 

2 minds, 2 hearts, 2, linked as 1

two hearts that beat as one

but this,

this is not real, it can not be, it could not be,

it's a depiction, an ideal,, its false

stories, romance tell us it can be 

but i know

we know - it is false

love is not a fairytale

romance never lasts,

chivalry is dead, if t ever truly existed?

what could be, what could not be, 

my heart it yearns for both.

a love, a life, a happiness, 

a future, present and past. 

to map our lives, to weave the tale, dreams realized together

inspirations, aspirations unite

......not real

not realistic, no two people

are, nor could be the same

this supreme uniqueness of humanity, if a flaw and weakness too.

to plan a life of love of happiness is but merely all a dream

we face challenges, opinions, difference

we drink, we fight, we lust, we hate

jealously destroys us all

confidence, faith, trust go either way

control and domination can hinder and destroy

memories of laughter and tears blurred together

indecipherable,in- differentiable, 

a haze, a fuzz, a jumble

what is right what is wrong?

who is right, who said wrong

i know and i know not

it does not matter

i still but yearn

love and hate run parallel, a fine thin line to fall across, it barely separates the two

do i hoover in between, unsure where do jump in

if i stay for long upon this line, do i become unfeeling, uncaring, or obsessed?

unable to define, refine my feelings and change my thoughts .

i wish for both

i wish for neither,

 i wihs for it all to begin, or to again begin.

i wish, i wish, i didnt say. i held my tounge upon that day

i wish i wish i spoke up further, made my mind, unloaded.

i wish i wish i did not say, but glad, im glad i did

i wished no end, i wished it sooner

pain ended long ago

a heartache, a headache, tears and sobs

smiles, laughter, good memories with bad

a heart can be strong, it can be weak

broken can be mended. healing can be soothed

what could be, what could not be

its already done

i do not, and will not regrey